The breakup of a relationship can be deeply traumatic, distressing and depressing. However, with a little help from friends and family, it is possible to overcome the pain of losing a wife, husband, girlfriend or boyfriend.
What to Do During the Days Following a Breakup
It is all too easy following a breakup, to become isolated from friends and relatives. The first and most important thing to do is talk openly about the pain. Allow friends to offer a shoulder to cry on, don’t just push them away in favour of wallowing in self-pity alone. Remember, others will provide a different perspective on things, which can be very helpful and healthy during the healing process.
While it is good to assess the reasons that a relationship went wrong, it is unwise to overanalyse the minutiae of the time spent together. In other words, a full-blown post mortem of a relationship can deepen the depression. That said, it is important to learn from previous mistakes, so it is recommended that some thought goes into the causes of the breakup.6
It is often tempting to call or visit an ex in the vain hope that he, or she, will have a change of heart. While it can be helpful to clear the air and have an honest heart-to-heart, never beg for a reconciliation or to salvage the relationship. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding the breakup, desperation is unattractive and is unlikely to prove successful.
How to Get Over an Ex
Once the wounds have been licked, it is important that self-confidence be restored and normal business resumes. In other words, get out there and meet new people. For some people, it is helpful to take up a new hobby, sport or craft. Alternatively, of course, dinner and a few drinks with friends can be equally beneficial. In either case, meeting new people is always recommended.
However, it is unwise to dive headfirst into a new relationship. Being open to dating new people is fine, but a rebound relationship usually ends disastrously. A harmless flirt over coffee is great, but try not to engage in anything too serious. Remember, people who have recently suffered a breakup are very vulnerable, so there may be those who would take advantage of the situation.
How to Move on From a Failed Relationship
In the weeks following a breakup, there are a number of things that can be helpful in overcoming a failed relationship. One such thing is to begin to look to the future. It may even be useful to plan things for the future. In other words, better employment, travelling, new hobbies. The end of a relationship is a great time to take stock of things and reassess goals, desires and ambitions.
Remember, the best revenge of all is living well. It is, of course, perfectly natural to feel bitter, angry or even jealous after a breakup, but it is unwise to let these emotions show. Try to concentrate on the positive things in life, such as good friends and loving family, and the bright future ahead.