Many people find it hard to attract a partner. No matter how well-honed a person’s sexual body language may be, cheesy chat up lines and clumsy compliments can block the path of true love. However, with a little work, anyone can hone their seduction skills and ensure that the first move makes a good first impression.
Be Confident of Seduction Success
Without confidence, any seduction approach will fail. Single men and women often panic that they’ll never find a lover. This can result in an air of desperation often coupled with insecure body language.
Even if someone sending out desperate signals does land a lover, it’s generally doomed to failure because these mannerisms often attract those who crave insecurity in a partner because of their own relationship issues.
As such, rather than obsessing about finding a partner, it’s healthier to focus on relaxing and enjoying any given social occasion. Acting naturally boosts the chances of dating success and projects confidence.
Confidence is sexy. If someone is clearly happy and enjoying the company of a mixed group of people it sends the message that he or she is fun to be with. And a confident person is more likely to attract a secure lover, thus minimising the chances of dating disaster.
Finding Love With a Friend of a Friend
Almost everyone feels nervous when first approaching a potential lover. As a result, many people rely on chat up lines. However, honesty is more likely to lead to a positive response than any number of tacky lines.
At a house party, mutual friends can serve as a useful go-between, making introductions and giving an implicit recommendation. Friends can also serve as a source of research about a potential partner, before any introduction has been made.
No matter how strong the physical attraction, inside information is worth consideration – assuming it doesn’t come from someone with a vested interest, such as an ex girlfriend or boyfriend. Far better to find out a potential date has a reputation for cheating before getting involved six months into a relationship.
Approaching a Stranger for a Date
Of course, there’s always the chance that a potential date could be a stranger. If so, the approach should be tailored accordingly. Standing near to the target and subtly listening in on the conversation will help provide an anchor for conversation.
Listening to a potential lover’s conversation will also allow time for gut instinct kick in: the way that a person treats waiting staff, people of the same gender, people of the opposite gender, obvious friends or apparent strangers all give indications as to his or her true nature. Rather than approaching a potential date purely on the basis of looks, it’s worth learning more out his or her personality before initiating contact.
Assuming signs are positive, making the first move is simply about gaining an invitation into the potential lover’s space. This can be done in various ways: requesting some food or glass of wine from a nearby buffet table or bar at a house party; asking for a light for a cigarette; or simply smiling and offering a comment on something the potential date is discussing – having first apologised for interrupting – can aid integration into conversation.
There are many ways to meet people. Beside approaching strangers in real life, one could use dating sites, which are popular these days, or less popular options such as a free phone sex line that not many people know but can be very effective to practice your social skill and flirt game.
Chat-up Lines, Compliments and Come-Ons
A more overt approach can also work, but is best used only if time is extremely limited and the potential date is alone rather than in a group. It takes guts but most people will respond well to a (non-sexual) compliment, whether with politeness (if disinterested) or flirtation (should the potential lover feel a mutual attraction is there).
Trying to identify shared interests as quickly as possible will help develop a bond. This could be a book that the potential lover is reading in a cafe; it might be a particular cocktail at a bar or party; or it could be a clear penchant for a particular piece of music that’s playing. Asking open-ended questions allows conversation to develop.
Questioning potential partners about themselves is flattering as it shows interest. However, the question “What do you do?” should be avoided as it can indicate more interest in a person’s wallet than his personality. Asking “What do you enjoy doing?” or “What’s your dream?” is more likely to lead to a positive response.
The Golden Rules of Getting a Date
As a general rule, when it comes to attracting a date, observing the potential lover without being too obvious, finding a shared interest as quickly as possible and being (or at least seeming) confident will reap rewards.
It may take courage but not making a move guarantees a 100 percent chance of failure. Having the confidence to approach a potential partner increases the odds to 50/50, which has got to be worth the gamble when it comes to looking for love.